Giving Friends Advice

Apparently, I'm a person who gives people advice. Whether those people are people I love or just acquaintances, I'm am often sought out in order to listen and then report back on my findings.

What does it mean to give advice to someone?

Does advice come from personal experience or something you read or from being able to read the person and tell them exactly what they want/need to hear?

I'm guilty of all three. Or I've used all three. I prefer to listen. When someone approaches me, I gladly sit back and listen to everything they have to say. I internalize. I analyze. And depending on the person, I speak.

Whether I'm educated or not, I will tell you something or give you a link to an article I read or a YouTube video I watched or tell you someone you also know that has personally struggled with similar issues. Resourcefulness is one of my strengths. Like a sponge, I soak up as much knowledge and then I spew it out at an appropriate moment, hopefully.

Recently, my friends have either intentionally or not, sought out my listening ears for some advice. I hope that I have delivered helpful, inspiring words. I'm constantly in need for comfort and affirmation, I totally understand the need to have someone empathize with you on a situation or a relationship or a career choice or parents, etc. Often, I don't feel qualified for giving advice because I feel like my life if not where I wanted it to be 10 years ago. Is your life where you wanted it to be 10 years ago? I guess I should be comforted by the fact that life happens regardless of my plans and I am thankful for people that can guide me along the way. I guess I'll keep trying to help where I can but don't hold it against me.

I'm still trying to figure all of this crap out.

So are Grace & Mamrie... from two years ago...

xoxo,
Liz

Adult Kids & Making New Friends

I love celebrating birthdays. This weekend I was able to celebrate Sid's birthday with a grown-up spin on an eight-year-old's birthday party dream: driving fast cars around a track and being able to brag to your friends, that you are indeed the fastest and best go-kart driver ever. I didn't drive. I just watched. The wind really messed up my bangs.

::Go-Karts for Sid's 30th Birthday::

::the men making guacamole::

::super cute party hats::

As I near my thirties, I feel that people don't come out unless there is a major reason such as a birthday, a promotion or if someone is moving away for a new opportunity. People have gotten lazy and most likely, comfortable with their couch and a Netflix marathon. Don't get me wrong, I love and sometimes, live for a Netflix marathon. I can't go out both Friday and Saturday night anymore and feel good about myself. Weekends are for chores and catching up on TV and running and one social activity. But one social activity with a large group of friends, doesn't help my single status. After several weekends of similar social outings, the impossible task of meeting a dude has come to the top of my mind. I guess I will have to change my attitude about one social activity a weekend and rely less on my already taken friends for plans. Is there any other way? Besides online dating, how do people meet new people now? Technology is great and last week I read several articles on this same topic. Everyone seems to agree that technology is making people more introverted and it's really difficult to make new friends as an adult. Sometimes, I wish I had an excuse like "I'm new to this city. Please be my friend so that I don't get lost." If only, this was the case.

How do you meet new people? Do you feel constantly stuck behind a computer screen or your phone screen just making new Internet friends? I love Internet friends but some people in my city would be really nice too.

xoxo,
Liz

Thinking Things on Thursdays

Because I am currently in a "slow time" at work, I have been catching up on blogs. Blogs like my own and of course, blogs / magazines like The Everygirl. I stumbled upon this article and figured it would be nice to analyze my own friendships. It was easy for me to drop each of my girlfriends in to the category and it also made me think about what role I fill for them. For the full description of the role, please look at the before mentioned article because I don't want to plagiarize. :)

Photo: Found on Tumblr, Seemed fitting for summer

The Hustler
I like to think that Megan is my hustler. She has goals and talks the talk and seems to know things before they actually occur. This woman is encouraging while being fierce in her own career. I believe her when ever she speaks and I'm always honored when she asks my opinion on things. I appreciate her continued support and know that she will accomplish grand things in the future, if she hasn't already.

The No BS-er
Melissa lets me know what is up. She has lived life and she will not put up with any crap I spit out. I love it. I know that I can rely upon her to react. Hopefully, it's a good reaction but either way, I know instantly if I did a good thing or a crappy thing. Her eyes and her silence let me know when I've crossed a line. I think it takes a really trusting person to let you see them angry. Hopefully, I am this to her but I know I'm more like the social butterfly or perhaps the bad influence in some cases to her.

The Nurturer
No question about this one. Kendall is my nurturer, my cheerleader and often I feel like I can do no wrong. Her empathy is all consuming. I love her for this but I know that I cannot return the favor. My fatal flaw is my ability to look at situations in the most logical sense without thinking emotionally. I've been accused of having resting b*tch face due to this fact. I just like to think my way through things first...

The Bad Influence
Younger lady friends tend to have slightly different agendas than I do when it comes to Friday night or more importantly, Tuesday night. And men. Although I haven't had the opportunity to hang out with them recently, I think my bad influences are Beth and Kelsey. Each has a flair for mischief but has an incredible time while doing it. I envy their spirit and turns out, I'm a bad influence to most of my friends. Why make smart decisions when you can make fun decisions?!?

The Opposite Life Stage-r
She has been married since we graduated college and is planning a family. Shelby is definitely my opposite life stage-r friend. I am single. So. Very. Single. Shelby has the husband, the house, the dog and soon to be, the baby. I appreciate the advice and the patience she has for me and my antics. I have the benefit of learning from her mistakes and also from her ability to plan. There are so many things that I would never have considered without Shelby bringing it up and making me think about it. For example, an adult woman should always negotiate for more money at work and more vacation instead of being complacent. Never settle.

The Social Butterfly
This is Bich Van. She never says no to an activity where there are people to meet or just people to hang out. The woman double books herself all of the time. She has the most loyal friends, too because everyone enjoys being around her. I always check her calendar in order to make sure I have not been overlooked for a social activity. Bich keeps me from having a very unhealthy relationship with Netflix and for that I am grateful.

The Historian
Girl, this is my sister. Without question. We are close. There was a rough patch while I was at college "figuring myself out" and she was still in high school having "already figured it out." Other than that, we are up in each other's grill and know everything and participate in everything. She is my rock and my baby sister at the same time. I look to her in order to be reminded about choices made in the past and how I should have already learned that lesson. Grace keeps me grounded and in return, I help de-clutter her closets.

The moral of this post is to seek purpose in the company you keep. There is a reason I want to hang out with all of these women and hopefully, a reason for them to continue hanging out with me. I love each and every one of them. Friends make each day better and sillier and full of dance parties.

Now, let's turn on some Foreigner and sing our hearts out.

xoxo,
Liz