i read this in a friend's xanga and decided that i needed to think upon the subject and come up with an answer for myself. just wanted to fill you in on the background. so here goes:
Q: Guys: Honestly...what's up with the commitment issue?
An answer given by a guy: i'm scared, but maybe that's just me. besides, no one is ever really sure of what they want, and being afraid of either losing something or missing something greater can lead people to irrational decisions, that though better for the individual, leave the victims is painful dissarray; but such is the cost of life, living, and love. just don't find yourself on the down side of it, i think thats the key. and maybe i have no idea what im saying and should be disregarded
i think i'm going to tackle this in two ways, first - commitment when it comes to friends and secondly - commitment when it comes to boyfriend/girlfriend relationships. i'm not really going to answer the question though. the question and the answer given just got me thinking about what other people think and how people in relationships have over come these issues. so pressing onward, commitment when it comes to friends. i think, especially in my life, that being committed and LOYAL to your friends is a constant struggle. i don't know if boys have problems with this, but girls are mean...to each other...even when they are friends. it is SO HARD to find amazing girl friends that will love you and make you feel needed and all that jazz. in the past, i have gotten shatted on so many times by my "friends." going away to college was a great thing for me b/c it allowed me to find new people to accept me and want to learn all about me. it was also really FREAKIN' scary b/c it's really hard to know who to trust when you are trying to figure everyone out. i mean, do you ever just know, i mean, just get the feeling that some girl doesn't like you and it drives you absolutely crazy b/c you don't know what the hell you did to piss her off??!!?? maybe i'm paranoid or maybe i'm just intimidated, i don't know but it took me until spring semester to know who my friends are (as far as girls go.) guys are so much easier to be friends with. i mean they are laid back and for the most part honest with you. sure they know exactly how to exploit anything that makes me look stupid (for instance my nickname snart- if you don't know the story too bad) but that's what makes you laugh so it's all in good fun. i just think that if guys can show commitment to their friends....it shouldn't be that much harder to show at least the same kind of commitment to a girlfriend. sure it's scary and you might get hurt. but friends can hurt you too and sometimes it's worse.
now to boyfriend/girlfriend commitment issues. i think right now it's really hard to know what i want. of course i see my future with a husband and family on down the road, but right now? do i want to meet mr. right during my second year in college and have a dating relationhip that lasts for the next five years until i graduate and can get married? i just don't know about that. of course it would be nice to date. to see what's out there. to feel wanted by a boy. to be looked at like you are the only person in the world to them. yeah. that would be nice. it would be great to know that at least one person wants to talk to you and look at you and be with you. i'm really torn between remaining single and confused all the time about who i have little crushes on or which guy showed me attention and little stuff like that - OR - to be in a relationship having to make time for the person when there is sooo much to do but also getting to be with that person. there are positives and negatives to both sides of course but i guess when i finally find my match, i won't have to think about all of this stuff. everything will fall into place (maybe with a little work) but still, i shouldn't have to convince myself to be with someone if i TRULY want to be with them. just saying. so just to recap. yes it's scary to think about being in a relationship with someone b/c you never know what could happen, but at the same time it's comfortable and wonderful to know that someone has seen something in you that makes them want to be with you and talk to you and respect you for the wonderful person that you are. now this "just don't find yourself on the downside of it" business - have you never let yourself fall for a girl? b/c how do you stay on the upside of the whole thing if you never let yourself be attracted to someone? there's no fun in that. sure nothing may come of it, but having a crush on someone is fun and entertaining. maybe that's just me but i thought i'd throw that out there.
so think about it. commitment. is it the commitment boys are afraid of or is it just an excuse to give the girl asking for the commitment?
wow. i feel kinda like carrie bradshaw right now even though i didn't talk about sex. i feel like someone should be narrating my life at present. :) that wouldn't be annoying at all...........
No comments:
Post a Comment